Time
Out, Tantrums and Throwing - Coping With Toddler Behavior
Techniques
for coping with developmental stages of young children, from a parent education
specialist.
By Kimberly Meehan
Tantrums
The newest turn in thinking of temper tantrums is to try to prevent them
from happening. The theory is that toddlers really do not like being
out of control. When you start to see the precursors to a temper
tantrum then you want to begin to divert the escalating emotions rather
than allow the child to tantrum if possible. You can redirect with
just about anything available.
Time Out
If you need to do a time out it is better for the parent to be part of
that process to remind the child why he is time out , to keep the boundary
of the time out and to assist the child as the time out comes to an end
and the child re-engages in activity. It is very helpful if some
positive comment comes shortly after time out to show the child the behaviors
that parents like/want.
Time out in a corner for toddlers is pretty ineffective unless you are
going to stand right over them to keep them in the corner. I would not
necessarily recommend a bed because a bed/crib should be a place that
is safe for a child and should not be associated with discipline - also
the bed can be fun after awhile particularly if there are activities to
do on the crib rails. Any time out longer than 1-3 minutes is ineffective
in delivering the message since toddlers have extremely short attention
spans. Isolating in a crib takes the parent out of the child's view.
Repetitious Misbehavior
Toddlers are in the stage of separating from the parent and beginning
to recognize their own identity as an individual person. As a result,
they will test all the rules to see how far they can go and as part of
their learning process they will test these things REPEATEDLY.
Many times it helps to look at the environment and change it rather than
the child. Moving all those knick knacks out of reach, giving the child
drawer space in the kitchen or wherever for his personal use, give them
some pots and pans for their use and remind them that others are for mommy's
use. If they are standing in the high chair- put the belt back on and
put the tray top on If they still stand up then they weren't hungry and
you can end the meal. Throwing food should be an automatic end of
meal - they aren't hungry if they are throwing food. Toddlers will invariably
always eat immediately when food is placed in front of them after they
are done eating they will start with their favorite annoying tactics -
stand up, throw food, and so on.
Remember there is a developmental place for throwing. Most babies
start that at around 10+ months. A child needs to learn how food
feels in their hand, how it looks as it goes through the air and the sound
that it makes when it hits the ground. So for children just starting
this behavior I would consider letting them do this for a time.
Developmental throwing of food phases out over several months - generally
4-6.
Kimberly Meehan works with the Healthy
Steps program out of John Hopkins where the focus is on increasing parent
education on the growth and development of children 0-3 in the pediatrician's
office.
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