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Our Own
Adopting and Parenting the Older Child

By Trish Maskew

Our Own - Adopting and Parenting the Older Child
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Review by Cherie Clark

"Last weekend I had the chance to read Trish Maskew's new book, "Our Own." I am telling all of our agencies what at excellent resource this is for people who are adopting older children from any where. Those placements are so dear and so special but there is an element of risk that sometimes I believed was almost like the flip of a coin. "Would it work or not"  I learned a great deal by reading this book and would have slept with it under my pillow when my 5 year old came home if I had it. There is a homework process to be done before the arrival and things can be easier."

"Amazing! I think this is a must for families adopting an older child. There is so much information that I was astounded that it had been assembled and put together in such a readable and informative format. I believe that there are joys to adopting older children (my oldest adopted was 5) but the challenge is great. For us the biggest issue was bonding. He knew his mother and he had a brother left somewhere in Viet Nam when his orphanage was bombed and evacuated. Therefore he incorporated himself into the family but did not want to become part of it. I wasn't his mother and the other kids were not his siblings.  If I could have had something such as this book to hang on to it would surely have helped me through some painful and difficult times."

"I hope the word will be passed around to all of the agencies who have families adopting older children from anywhere about this wonderful brand new resource. What a gift."

Reviewed by Susan Hall

"This is a truly WONDERFUL book!  It is the book I was looking for three years ago when we thought Tien belonged with us instead of half a world away in Vietnam.  There was material out there on adopting older children - but not like this. Trish has put together a very positive but realistic picture of what it means to adopt an older child, either domestically or internationally. She begins with her own experiences as the adoptive mother of older children and moves forward."

"She has interviewed parents and captured all the pain and trauma, all the happiness and wonder, all the humor and craziness, that go with the process of adopting a child over the age of four.  She has done her research among professionals and adoption literature to provide facts and information about all the diagnosies and problems which could occur, about all the feelings of loss and rejection children often feel, about how to deal with schools, therapists, and physicians to get the help your child needs.  She has interviewed adult adoptees to provide information for adoptive parents from the perspective of the child.  She had included pages upon pages of resources available on-line andin books and magazines."

"While this book does not "sugar-coat" any of the issues involved with an older child adoption it reaches very positive conclusions about the process & the children involved.  For the most part the families interviewed for this book have lived months of confusion, exhaustion, and turmoil only to conclude these children that came into their lives much past infancy are truly "Our Own." 

"It is very much a book by parents for parents. It is practical advice, useful information, and the real-life story of what it means to adopt and parent an older child. It should be required reading for anyone who is considering adopting an older child. It should also be on the shelf for any parent who has adopted an older child and has days when they need affirmation that all the feelings of exhaustion and exhilaration are "normal".

Reviewed by Allison Martin

Our Own - Adopting and Parenting the Older Child, by Trish Maskew, is a practical guide to adoption of older children, full of wisdom, good advice and insight. An essential resource for prospective parents considering the adoption of an older child; parents who have adopted older children will also find it affirming and helpful. Trish Maskew felt that adoptive parents needed a book about older child adoption from experienced parents; she has succeeded masterfully in meeting this objective. Our Own has received rave reviews from adoptive parents all over the world.

Our Own covers a wide breadth of topics related to the adoption of older children - questions raised in deciding to adopt, surviving the wait, adjusting to the adoption, emotional transitions, behavior, thinking about birthparents, culture, language, and medical and special needs. Readers will find the text carries them along through the diverse topics with clarity, substance and a sense of humor. True life examples from her own experience, along with quotes based on 20 interviews with other parents, bring an emotional depth and realism to this book that is often missing from other books on older child adoption. While Trish Maskew tackles serious subjects which may be disturbing at times, the bond and caring that Trish has for her children and for older child adoption transforms this book into something special.

While parents who are adopting a child with special needs may wish to supplement this book with specialized references, it is an excellant overall resource for everyone interested in adoption of older children. Add Our Own to your library and read it with consideration and enjoyment.

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